Right now most people are staring at their New Year Resolution list and wondering two things: 1. How the hell do I do this? and 2. Is it over yet? Exactly. You see, most of us are focused on changing ourselves instead of examining where we are, how we arrived at this dreaded point and how we can really make this big change. It's almost as if a New Year resembles becoming a new person, someone you saw on TV or at the mall who you think is prettier/thinner/richer than you instead of honoring who actually are. Yep, I said it.
For the longest time while growing up I was always compliment, not for my intelligence, but for my physical presence. I was, and still am, complimented on my skin tone, eyes, hair and teeth. Yes, those are basic factors in beauty but I grew up in the South, a small suburb and many held onto to the ideal beauty being a slim, light skinned woman with long curly hair. This had been obvious to me since I was young and as a result I was teased and has many admirers. After years of being treated badly by other girls, out of their own insecurity, I figured that if I hid my beauty and ignored compliments then others around me wouldn't feel bad. Big problem! Why, because:
When you step out of your natural spotlight, you give others your power and you lose sense of yourself.
It's true. Since forming that habit, I stopped caring for myself. I didn't workout, I ate horribly and became so lazy. Yeah, I remained comfortable since I did the bare minimum and was still complimented.
It was until late last year that I realized something that has made me feel my best: I don't look like everyone else. When I watched TV (read here on why I don't), I was pretty insecure and would stress over my body. I watched as most of the actresses had the same look, and I dodn't have that look. Even when I'm out running erands, the women who see as generally attractive seem to have the same damn look and fashion sense. I came about this realization when I looked into the mirror one day and noticed that I look like both of my parents, yet different. As I looked deeper and for much longer i noticed my odd shaped lips, cold brown eyes and skin that seems to change when it wants. I realized "Hey, I look different and I love it". Given that I'm weird to begin with, read below for my tips to be-you-tiful...
Follow these steps to own your beauty:
- In the morning, get up and stare at the mirror. Don't think or critize, just look and notice your eyes, lips, ears and hair.
- Now, make facial expressions: laugh, pout, roll your eyes and make a mean face then laugh yourself.
- Look at every body part that you've been told that isn't perfect and say "Ha, God/I gave me this and told me to rock it!"
Remember, everything is a choice. Like most of us choose to watch TV and see someone as more attractive than ourselves, you can and must choose to be present in your own natural greatness and beauty.
In grace,
Kendra
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